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Interesting
Facts You Could Do Without |
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.
A shrimp's heart is in its head.
In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one
reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the
sand.
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or
received a telephone call.
Horses can't vomit.
The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
toughest tongue twister in the English language.
If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to
suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or
neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop
out.
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have
over a million descendants.
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in
your ear by 700 times.
If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title
14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented
on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any
contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people
sitting on them and photocopying their posterior.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow..
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Kids Say The
Darndest Things, Don't They? |
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ELDERLY: While working for an organization that delivers
lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old
daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by
the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers
and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false
teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth
fairy will never believe this!"
DEATH: While walking along the sidewalk in front of his
church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly
made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his
playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial
should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton
batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the
deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and
with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his
father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather. .and unto the
Sonnn . ...... and into the hole he gooooes."
SCHOOL: A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I
can't read, I can't write -and they won't let me talk!" |
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CHURCH MARQUEE SIGNS
"The best vitamin for a Christian is B1."
"Under same management for over 2000 years."
"Soul food served here."
"Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!" "Beat the Christmas rush;
come
to church this Sunday!"
"Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church."
"Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case."
"Life has many choices. Eternity has two. What's yours?"
"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due."
"Walmart isn't the only saving place!"
"Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary."
"Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible."
"It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees."
"A clear conscience makes a soft pillow."
"The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday."
"Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive."
"Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings."
"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."
"Christians, keep the faith -- but not from others!"
"If you don't want to reap the fruits of sin, stay out of the devil's
orchard."
"To belittle is to be little."
"Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you."
"God answers kneemail."
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 Two Faces or One?
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Sid and Al were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
"Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in Mexico?"
I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"
"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the
kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Mexican
Jews.
"Are you sure?" Al asked.
"I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the
kitchen.
While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews
in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere."
When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Mexican Jews."
"Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no
Mexican Jews."
"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange
Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of
Mexican Jews!
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