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Signs of
too much technology |
1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
three.
3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He
emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa,
but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to
see if it contains Echinacea.
7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your
newborn so she can create a screen saver.
8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see
if anyone is home.
9. Every commercial on television has a website address at the
bottom of the screen.
10. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date and
now sells for half the price you paid.
11. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't
have the first 20, 30 or 40 years of your life, is cause for panic
and you turn around to go get it.
12. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a
purchase would be a hassle and take planning.
13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags
out of the back seat of your car.
14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they
do not have e-mail addresses.
15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it
notes.
18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.
20. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling,
as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
21. You get up in the morning and go on-line before getting your
coffee.
22. You wake up at 3:00 am to go to the bathroom and check your
E-mail on your way back to bed.
23. You're reading this.
24. Even worse; you're going to send it on to someone else.
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A daddy was listening
to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold."
At this, dad
interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you called God,
"Harold?"
The little boy looked
up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer
we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."
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A car was involved in
an accident in a street. As expected, a large crowd gathered. A lawyer
anxious to get there first could not get near the car. Being a clever
sort, he started shouting loudly,
"Let me through! Let
me through! I am the son of the victim."
The crowd made way for
him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
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Terri asked her Sunday School
class to draw pictures of their favorite bible stories. She was
puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an
airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be
Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the
fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius -- the Pilot!"
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PEOPLE ARE LIKE POTATOES
Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't
want to soil their own hands.
They are called "Dick Tators"
Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to
watch while others do the work.
They are called "Speck Tators".
Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault
with the way others do the work.
They are called "Comment Tators".
Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to
agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet.
They are called "Agie Tators".
There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get
around to actually doing the promised help.
They are called "Hezzie Tators".
Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not.
They are called "Emma Tators".
Then there are those who love and do what they say they will. They are
always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand.
They bring real sunshine into the lives of others.
They are called "Sweet Tators".
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