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Kute Kids |
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A
little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a
bedtime story.
From
time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to
touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own
cheek, then his again.
Finally
she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes,
sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time
ago."
"Oh,"
she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes,
indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while
ago."
Feeling
their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting
better at it, isn't he?"
|
.
I
just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD---Age-Activated
Attention Deficit Disorder!
This is how it goes... I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and
notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I'm going to do the laundry...
BUT
FIRST I'm going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on
the table. OK, I'll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack....
BUT
FIRST I'll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to
be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?
Oops..
there's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I'm going to
look for that checkbook...
BUT
FIRST !! I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the
kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of
water-
I put the glass in the sink and there's the remote for the TV on the
kitchen
counter. What's it doing here? I'll just put it away...
BUT
FIRST I need to water those plants. I head for the door and...Aaaagh!
stepped on the dog.
Dog needs to be fed. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the
plants...
BUT
FIRST I need to feed the cat.
END OF DAY
Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in
the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the dog ate the
remote control...And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done
today, I'm baffled because..
I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious...I'd get help...
BUT
FIRST.. I think......
Riddle Answer: Since a person running for 10 minutes
would cover more distance than that same person would walking for 10
minutes, he/she would use more energy running for 10 minutes. |
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RIDDLE:
Since a person uses about the same amount of energy walking 2 miles as
they would running for 2 miles, would a person use more energy running for
10 minutes, walking for ten minutes, or the same amount of energy?
scroll
to the bottom for the answer to this riddle
____________________
Please
note that with the arrival of the new "Drive-thru" cash point
machines, customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their
vehicles.
To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have
been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own
circumstances (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for when you use the
machine for the first time.
MALE PROCEDURE
1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Wind down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Retrieve card, cash, and receipt
6 Wind up window
7 Drive off
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1 Drive up to cash machine
2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to
machine
3 Re-start the stalled engine
4 Wind down the window
5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
6 Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
7 Attempt to insert card into machine
8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive distance from the car
9 Insert card
10 Re-Insert card the right way up
11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page
12 Enter PIN.
13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14 Enter amount of cash required
15 Re-check make up in rear view mirror
16 Retrieve cash and receipt
17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18 Place receipt in back of cheque book
19 Re-check make-up again
20 Drive forwards 2 meters
21 Reverse back to cash machine
22 Retrieve card
23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the
slot provided
24 Re-check make-up
25 Restart stalled engine and pull off
26 Drive for 3 to 4 miles
27 Release hand brake
| *grin* ...
Anyone wish they had been born a few centuries earlier? Someone
sent me some information about that time period. I will be sharing
a little at a time. |
LIFE IN
THE SIXTEENTH CENTURY,
by Dr. Beatrice Stiglitz |
| England is old and
small, and they started running out of places to bury
people. So, they would dig up coffins and would take their
bones to a house and reuse the grave. In reopening these
coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on
the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.
So they thought they would tie a string on their wrist and
lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to
a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all
night to listen for the bell. Hence on the "graveyard
shift" they would know that someone was "saved by the
bell" or he was a "dead ringer". |
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